Monday, October 24, 2011

The Party was a hit!

So, Leigh didn't show for the party. Didn't call.  Nothing. 

But it was a great toddler party-- sidwalk chalk, bubbles and punch balloons.  Lasted just long enough to wear them out, but not long enough for them to pitch fits. 

MoMo had a blast-- loves her new toddler camera.  She hasn't put it down since she got it, and she wouldn't take off the princess dress until we threatened her with no trick or treating if she wouldn't cooperate with us.  That child!  She'll dig in the dirt wearing a tiara and dangling earrings.  I love that she's such a mix of tomboy and princess. 

Anyway, haven't heard from Leigh, but the peace at home is nice, even if it's coming at such a price.

Thursday, October 20, 2011

Birthday Conundrum

MoMo's birthday party is this weekend.  Her birthday isn't, and we've already had a small family party, but this weekend is her "invite the friends from daycare and mom and dad's friends to hang out with cupcakes and bubbles" party. 

And in a weak moment, I FB-invited Leigh.  She replied that yes, she was coming.  Now, I'm not sure I want her to come. Yes, I miss her, but I've enjoyed the peace and sense of boredom that she's left in her wake. 

Here's the thing. We've passed along her school uniforms, a pair of shoes and some basic hygeine stuff.  If she comes home, even for a little bit, she'll want to take stuff with her.  I'm not willing to let her do that.  But I'm having an internal dilemma about that.

I'm honest enough with myself that I can't decide if I'm doing this to full-on embrace the tough love we're living out, or because I'm just flat hurt that after everything we've been through, she left.  I want her to "suffer" the consequences of storming out in a snit and leaving behind all her makeup, her ipod charger and her favorite books.  I want her to know that she is truly on her own to fend for herself out there in the big world, but I don't know if it's because it's what's best for her, or because I know she's missing those things, and I have them. 

We went through so much with her in the ten years, four months and seven days she lived with us.  I at least deserved a hug goodbye.  Or to be picked over a burgeoning drug habit.  Or both. 

Monday, October 17, 2011

Leigh's Last Week has been eerily peaceful at our house.

In April, we helped move Danae and Leigh's older sister and her partner down here, hoping she would be a positive influence. 

Not so much.  Turns out they're dedicated potheads with a knack for mooching and slovenly living. 

We helped set them up in an apartment, and when they ran out of money (it was allegedly stolen) we lit them live on our sofa.  We kicked them out six weeks later for helping Leigh sneak boys into our home late at night, and for helping her skip school three days in a row. 

Sad but true fact--after they left, our bug problem disappeared.  That nasty.  Like throwing food wrappers in the toddler's toybox and under the bed nasty. 

So that's the back story. Last weekend, we let Leigh spend 45 minutes with "the Gruesome Twosome" as we call them.  She came out to the car stoned off her ass.  The next day, I attempted to have a conversation with her.  She refused, so I simply said that we don't do drugs in this family, and that if that's the life she wanted, she'd have to live it elsewhere, so she left, and moved in with the Gruesome Twosome.

Today, the therapist, Carla, called to tell me that the twosome is already frustrated with the amount of food Steph eats, and with her lack of hygeine, and her attitude, and how she talks to people-- all things we were working on at home, and all things the Twosome told us we should stop riding her case about.


Sorry.  I had to get that out of my system. 

So now they want money from us for groceries.  NO. 

And for rent.  NO.

And want us to make Leigh bathe.  Not my problem any more.

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.  Sorry.  Can't help it.

All of this AFTER they called me the worst mom ever on Saturday, because I wouldn't drop everything and run to give them their mail. 

I love it when people get exactly what they ask for.

I miss Leigh, but I love the calm.  I've gotten so much done, I wonder how much more I could have gotten accomplished with the last ten years of my life if she hadn't been around.

Sunday, October 16, 2011

Anybody still there?

So, I'm back.  I think. 
I need an outlet again, and you guys and the world of the blog were very therapeutic. 

So here I am.

Lets see.  Dawn did indeed get prego, and now has a special needs, medically fragile infant--born two months early to an emergency c-section with gastroschisis (intstines, liver and stomach on the outside instead of inside) and extra fluid on her brain. She is not coping with motherhood well, and I may have to make a second call to social services.

Leigh eventually was released from residential way too early.  Even the state medical director in charge of the entire system agreed she needed to stay, but ordered her released based on the rules and regs of the state system. It's been an incredibly turbulent 7 months, in which time Leigh discovered the joys of pot and has decided to live elsewhere because we will not allow her to use drugs at home. 

Danae is doing well, preparing to graduate and spreading her wings.

The babies are both toddlers now and are probably going to be a permanent addition.

I'm hanging on thanks to sheer force of will (where I got it, I have no idea) and modern pharmacology (who knew xanax was so nice?!)

Any way, I need to vent, and there are lots of stories to tell.