Life Soundtrack--Writer's Workshop

Soundtrack of your life: Pick 10 songs that you would have on a soundtrack for your life, pick a line from each that you most identify with and write a short statement of why this song made it. This is written as part of Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop... 1. It Had to Be You, Harry Connick, Jr—“For nobody else gave me the thrill/With all your faults I love you still/ It had to be you” My husband and I danced to this song at our wedding. We are almost nearly total opposites, but after nearly 17 years, we are still like newlyweds. He’s just pure awesomeness, and I totally don’t deserve him, but I’m glad he settled on me. I definitely married up!! 2. On the Turning Away, Pink Floyd—“We could find that we're all alone/ In the dream of the proud” This song has just always made me slow down and stop and think. Now I just ponder how different my reality is from the dreams and expectations I had before I became a parent. 3. With Arms Wide Open, Creed-- "Well I don't know if I'm ready/ To be the man I have to be/ I'll take a breath, I'll take her by my side/ We stand in awe, we've created life…" When my husband and I drove across the state to pick up our daughter Leigh to bring her home with us, this was the first song that came on the radio after about an hour of silence. Perfect timing. We cried. Still do, but for totally different reasons. 4. In My Daughter’s Eyes, Martina McBride—“But the truth is plain to see/ She was sent to rescue me…” This song is my challenge to myself, a constant reminder that everything I say and do and think and feel will impact my daughters. I sang it several years ago in church, and ended up crying my way through the end. It still makes me cry. But I cry easily and often, much to my chagrin. 5. Leader of the Band, Dan Fogelberg—“Papa, I don’t think I said ‘I love you’ near enough” From the first time I heard this song until now, it makes me cry every time. I don’t talk to my dad, and he doesn’t talk to me. Me by choice, and him by circumstance, and I wish every day, every moment, that it was different. 6. Goodbye My Lover, James Blount—“It may be over but it won't stop there,/ I am here for you if you'd only care.” This is quite possibly the saddest break up song ever. My daughter Dawn (we had her for five years) has run away several times and made it clear through her actions that she doesn’t want to be a part of our family. (And this was after ODing and getting expelled from the school where she attended and I was a department chair.) It has nearly destroyed me in more ways than I care to remember over the past two years. But I have learned from it, and moved on to … 7. Candle (Sick and Tired), The White Tie Affair—“ All this darkness will surround you,/ Cuz I'm burning for you, Burning like a candle” I have learned that I can love my daughter without liking her a single tiny bit. And that it’s okay. 8. Say, John Mayer—“Say what you need to say” …because sometimes you may not have another chance to say what needs to be said. So say it. Say what you need to say. Now. 9. Crazy Train, Ozzy Osbourne—“Mental wounds not healing/ Life's a bitter shame/I'm going off the rails on a crazy train” This is one of my personal theme songs. It describes parenting a RAD/OCD/PTSD/BPD child to a perfection. I often start humming this as I am plodding through a problem spot. 10. Roll With the Changes, REO Speedwagon—“So if you're tired of the same old story/ Oh, turn some pages” I love me some REO. And this song is true. If you don’t like it, change it. Or if it changes without your input or consent, roll with it. You can. It might suck or it might be okay, but you’ll survive. My family… well, we are living proof that one can roll with the changes. It may not be fabulous or Lives of the Rich and Famous. But it can almost always be good. Honorable mentions… **Your Love is My Drug, Kesha—“like a lovesick crackhead” **Thank U, Alanis Morisette—“Thank you disillusionment/ Thank you frailty/ Thank you consequence/ Thank you thank you silence " **F*ck was I Thinking, Jenny Owen Youngs—“Skillet on the stove is such a temptation,/ maybe I'll be the special one that doesn’t get burned./What the f*ck was I thinking?” Broken, Seether, with Amy Lee—“I wanna hold you high and steal your pain away/I keep your photograph; I know it serves me well”