We have a hard and fast rule in our house about not lying to our kids. We may not tell them everything, but we never lie to them. Even about stuff that we ought to at least sugar coat. And that actually came up tonight in the midst of my rant--that Danae and Leigh can't trust anyone because of how people always treat them.
I told her I understood--and even though I haven't walked in their shoes, I really do understand. Because no matter what Hubby and I do, they don't trust us, and probably never will. They've never been able to trust anyone. Both us, frustrated beyond reason about trust, but on different sides of the issue. And all of us trying to find a way to some common ground.
Much has been made on other blogs and by other bloggers about what it takes to be a good parent, and what it takes to parent special needs kids. And how one should cope with the specialness and craziness that is our lives. I have a friend who’s own mother stalks her blog to document what she thinks her daughter is doing wrong as a parent. There’s another blogger who writes about the kid she never gave up on, and after many years, is seeing the pay off. I have another blog friend who had to shut down her blog because crazy people went after her AND her daughter. What the hell kind of sense does that make?
Parenting special needs kids takes special people. Tonight, I had my own little very special moment. Maybe something will change in me or my kids or our actions. Maybe it won’t. And realistically, probably it won't.
Do I really think I suck at being a parent? Sometimes. Have I tried EVERYTHING I know to do to help my kids be better than they are? I think so, but if and when something else pops up, I’ll look into that too. Do I still do the best I can with the ones I have? Every day.
Because that’s what being a parent it… it’s riding the crazy train,** and knowing that at some point, it will be better, even if that point is their 17th birthday when they walk out to do things their own way…Like Dawn did. And loving her anyway.
Rant done. I feel better.
Comments?
**listen to it. it's not about what you think it is. trust me. it's my theme song. one of them anyway.
ba-deep ba-deep ba-deep . . .
13 years ago
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How you held it together is beyond me. The way I look at parenting is as long as they're alive, breathing, and haven't killed anyone else then it's a success. If I thought any more about it, I would cry.
ReplyDeleteYou're both AMAZING parents. They might never fully realize that, but others do.
ReplyDeleteThank you. Thank you so much. Today has been pretty rough, too, and the weird thing is that I feel completely guilty for unloading on them like I did. But the other part of me feels so much better for just letting it all out.
ReplyDeleteI hope someday they do realize, but isn't that what all parents hope, no matter how they became parents?
Thanks again...