10 rules I've unlearned
(meaning 10 things you thought were expected of you or
were the “right way” of doing things, but that you now ignore).
1. I do NOT have to use the same laundry soap my mom does. Or dish soap. Or bath soap. Or anything.
2. I thought I had to bully my children to attend, be successful at and finish college. Now, I’ll just be happy if one of them graduates high school. Seriously.
3. My children do not need to look like me or come from me for me to love them. In fact, it’s kind of more fun when they don’t because of the endless opportunities it provides to generally mess with strangers.
4. There is actually more than one way to fold a bath towel. (I love you mom, and I’m sorry this list seems to have so many jabs at you. I guess it’s a good thing you don’t know I’m doing this or you might kill me for talking about you in public. But let’s face facts: My children, thanks to your well-planted neuroses, refuse to fold towels because they know I’m going to flip out it they aren’t done like yours.)
5. Big brick house with too much space + two crazy car payments = unhappiness.
Cattywampus half-century old house + two paid-for beaters = happy contentment.
6. Keeping up with the Jones’ is only good for making one out of breath with leg cramps. Who likes to run anyway? Crazy people, that’s who. And I have enough of them in my life.
7. I can love my children and be proud of them even if they are as nutty as overpriced health food bread and crazier than Oprah at a free chocolate give away. And even if they have probation officers and three different therapists. And go to special schools. And generally make life NOT boring.
8. I do not have to have a credit card to survive… Thank you Dave Ramsey for showing me the light that is financial independence!
9. I don’t have to make a living at writing to be happy. I just need to write.
10. Just because I’m fat does NOT mean I should stay home from the pool. Yep, I’m rockin’ the flab in a swimsuit! Avert your eyes or stare at my chubby glory. I don’t care. I love the ocean, I love to swim, and you swimsuit models will not keep me from my joy. Go eat some pizza and you can join me.
11. (Just because I like to be different.) I can believe in God and have faith in that belief and NOT have to be a Church Person. I have found that the Church People I generally meet are more into Church than Faith.