It's been a Dawn free week or so, so I should have known something was coming.
She stopped by today. DumbAssBoyfriend goes to cout tomorrow to see if he goes to prison (pleasepleasepleaseOHpleaselethimgo!!) and has been really stressed out and taking it out on her. They're fighting.
Oh, by the way, "the pregnancy test said I'm kind of pregnant."
I looked at her and asked how in the world someone is kind of pregnant.
"Well, the little 'you're pregnant' mark lit up, but only a little, so I guess I'm only kind of pregnant."
I told her that was the same thing as kind of dead. Kind of broken. Kind of on fire. You either were or you weren't.
"Well, I'm'a take one next week to see if I'm any more pregnant or if it was wrong."
Be proud of me. I wasn't snarky to her a bit.
And if you are the praying kind, please repeat after me:
Dear GodAllahBuddha, Please. If you a good and kind and merciful deity there is no way in hell Dawn will be pregnant. I have two kids in diapers. I do NOT need her to move home, knocked up and moodier than ever. If you aren't, please make other arrangements for me. I've just about had enough. Amen.
ba-deep ba-deep ba-deep . . .
6 years ago